When all else fails...
Life currently has been hectic. Like, it is normally pretty wild but currently it seems like I am just trying to keep my head above water on a daily basis. Some days I do a decent job of it and others I get angry, short tempered and pushed to someone I don't want to be. I know this is only for a season (the main reason for the pressure is our moving and Tegan being on complete bed rest and not being able to drive because of her back injury) and we will hopefully come out of it sooner rather than later but sometimes when your in it, it seems endless.
I am well aware that I stack on the pressure; having high expectations of myself with my training, particularly at the moment on day 72 of running a half marathon a day for 100days. One night when I was wrecked mentally and physically for the day, Tegan asked me if I was going to continue my challenge as I am waking at 2:52am 90% of the time currently. Without hesitation I fired back saying, 'YES! It is literally the only thing keeping me sane at the moment'. I know this instinctively but the next day upon reflection I was actually a little taken back at my sudden, non-hesitant response.
Running long distances is a demanding endeavour on every level; mentally, physically and emotionally. However, the deposits one makes on a daily basis, I believe returns far more than it takes. It doesn't calculate. It makes sense to stop, get more sleep and have more energy for everything else going on in my world currently. However, without my daily logging of miles, life seems vanilla, I turn up half assed and within myself, feel like something is missing. I guess when one does something positive for so long and the thought of not doing it is presented, it is not even an option to remove it from the repertoire. When all else fails and things seem to be breaking down around you, run. Simple.
Life is complicated for most of us. As I get older things seem more complicated, there is always more to do and more demands placed upon me. However, my time running, when all else fails, is my foundation. It makes me better, more whole and human.
So, when things go unexpecedly for you, life seems unfair and unjust, have faith. Do the simple things. Dont give them up no matter how hard they seem at times. Know they will return interest far greater than the fees they take away. Simple. One foot in front of the other. I will get through and I will be strong for my family. I will fail, constantly, but when all else fails I will run and be a better man!
This weeks song - Phoenix Rise by The Ghost Inside.